Comments on: Histrionic Personality Disorder

By: Jean

Jean — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:30:37 +0000

Thank you.

By: Michelle Nicodemus

Michelle Nicodemus — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 23:06:50 +0000

I am glad some of you could relate to my story. I must tell you I reunited with this man over the course of 5 yrs. Most recently – 3 mos ago. When I met him 5 yrs ago, he was hiding a woman and lying about it. 5 yrs later – he was still hiding women and lying about it. He made the mistake of leaving his cellphone at my house one morning – and I found numerous phone numbers of his ” backups/fan club”.. I was irate. I couldn’t believe I’d been duped AGAIN when he SEEMED so sincere!!! They are the most fantastic liars — and so good that they believe their OWN. They lie as they go — Yes, they are needy, dependent, exhausting, and selfish. They are also exciting – energetic – sexual and make you feel like the MOST important person on the face of the Earth. LIttle do we know – they are using the SAME lines and using the same tactics to land all the others in their ” fan club”.. They recycle people. Their goal is to WIN. They want to try to get back the former lovers/fools/targets who left them.. and then .. when they know they have you – they revert back to their “old selves”.. The cycle repeats itself. Sometimes they will just detach and dump you. Other times – they will string you along because there is something in it for them. For my guy? 59 yrs old – and experienced with the charm… LOTS of charm – flattery – etc. etc. He wanted my money. Now he is in bankruptcy. Thought he was getting mine. Hm. Don’t think so. I did spend thousands of dollars on this lazy man — always crying ” got no money”.. wah wah. But ALWAYS enough money for himself!! For his toys. ( He is an alcoholic and always had beer).. When I found out he was taking OTHER women out… and making ME pay for our dinners out – I was LIVID. He was quite the smooth operator. As far as the sex?? They only want the attention. The sex may NOT be that good with them.. They don’t care.. The more they give to you, sexually.. the MORE you will give back to THEM. They are not making love. They are having sex. YOU are an object.. Well — it’s been 5 yrs now. A fitting ending to a wild roller coaster ride. Please – all of you – remember.. HPD is a personality disorder. IT is not YOU. You were only loving, giving, and trusting. THEY are the predators. If a rattlesnake bit you – would you ask them WHY they did it? Do not try to reason – do not try logic.. You can’t.. YOu cannot be logical and make sense of a DISORDERED mind. Be thankful you survived.. and understand… YOU are the winner here.. You learned – you moved on…. leave those memories of the person you THOUGHT they were WAY behind you — and make better choices for YOU. They will be forever damaged – seeking that “perfect love” that will reflect back to them as they believe THEY are perfect.. and be constantly disappointed.. Over and Over again.. They are broken people. AND if they don’t want to change — believe them. Few can. They are predators. Looking for targets. THey will NEVER view a “partner” as a person.. They only want something. Remember that…

By: Thomas

Thomas — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:17:59 +0000

What the first post, Michelle Nicodemus, wrote resonated with me to the point of sending a cold up my spine. I relate to it word for word. Except replace ‘he’ with ‘she’. I fell deeply in love with the exact same sort of person when I was very young, naive, shy and impressionable. This was over 25 years ago and it was something I never got over and something that crippled me emotionally and romantically my whole life. Two years ago by chance I reunited with the ‘Love of my Life’ and it was uncanny how things unfolded almost EXACTLY the same way again. A brief and intense period of bliss in an exotic locale, and then … ending in me being used, crushed and heartbroken all over again. I would have thought that being older and (so I thought) wiser I would have found it easier to get over it and move on from this most cruel of betrayals, but it hasn’t been any easier. In some ways it has been even harder. The experience has damaged me both emotionally and physically. But I am doing my best to move forward and repair my heart – literally and metaphorically. I have no other choice really.
It is true the eyes are the windows to the soul. Especially in the case of narcissists, histrionics and borderlines. I use to think that the Love of my Life had the most beautiful big brown eyes. Now when I think of her and those eyes, I am more reminded of the eyes of a shark. Cold and soulless. A true maneater.

By: Alfredia Fillinger

Alfredia Fillinger — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 11:30:04 +0000

I am not so creative to be brainy to create first-rate stuff like you do but I am trying to pay it back so hoepfully this will provide you a ear-to-ear grin or make you laugh or at the very least give you a thought for the day? : Vidi, vici, veni. I saw, I conquered, I came.

By: Lynn Parker

Lynn Parker — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 23:20:52 +0000

I am a 56 year old man (had to say that because of my name) and was dating a 49 year old. She was the most draining person I ever met. Has a great job but in her personal life always needs drama, obsessed with her looks, like talking to a child at times, very sexually provocative and only her world is important. There is the lying which maked it hard to get a handle on her, but after about 4 or 5 months my gut was telling me there was something wrong. To make a long story short Rodger came along. I feel I should send him a thank you card or a sympathy card or both. It took me a bit to put it all together and it did hurt at times and thank god I have great family and friends. Something that hit me was her family I felt really sorry for them . They are caught in her world of drama and do not know what is going on. It is so very draining. Thanks and take care.

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:54:39 +0000

the more i research the more i realize that i may be suffering from HPD. For years i struggled with trying to figure out what was wrong with me, as i bounced from relationship to relationship and job to job. I had a great relationship with a great guy and i cheated on him over and over again. We were supposed to get married and it didnt happen. I spent years trying to “fix” things so that he would love me enough again to put me at the center of his heart. I lost a job that kept me in the spotlight and found myself unemployed and out of a relationship. It was a hard time but it was a time of reflection and evaluation. Knowing that i do have a problem wont erase the hurts or pains i caused so many people in my past and i struggle with it every day because “im sorry” just wont ever be enough. Its hard but i take it one day at a time.

By: Terry

Terry — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 22:51:41 +0000

Histrionic reply. I have just found out in the last few weeks that i am a histrionic i had never even heard of this problem until then. I really don’t know what to say to all the people that have been hurt emotionally by a histrionic… please don’t give up on us… and above all don’t take it personally if possible, if it wasn’t being directed at you it would be someone else. I cant say sorry for everything ive done wrong in my life because that would be a lie i dont feel remorse but i can now see that its wrong and that a start to being normal one day.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:38:50 +0000

Thank you for sharing… I have been in an “on again, off again” relationship/marriage for 13 yrs with someone you describe very well. So many lies, lack of deep caring (especially when I really needed it), often turned to friends for attention when I was too busy with nursing school to provide every need, was discarded by him (numerous times) only to be replaced within a matter of days and then he would run back to me EACH time his relationship would fail (because there is never any substance). For many years, I was too gullible to believe it all because I thought it was love and I trusted… I’m beginning to see things will never change.

By: David

David — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 19:20:03 +0000

make a very long story short, histrionic persons are master manipulators, they are truly myopic, and they cannot fathom that they may be the person to have done wrong to another. they are most always the innocent victim (in their eyes), these types have truly shallow emotions (though at first it will seem otherwise), they are totally vein, will love you one moment and the next moment hate you to your face. they are about one thing- being the undying center of attention. best advice- don’t ever go beyond a very superficial relationship with one of these types. they will leave you scrambled, dazed, confused and twisted, and they will leave you to sort it all out while they go on their merry way convinced that you were the loser and that they are a truly precious commodity deserving only the best of the best.

By: gordon334

gordon334 — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 07:03:51 +0000

Sounds like a female friend of mine I need to distance myself from. I want to leave this person because she tells me ever thing that is wrong with me. I have 4 pages of things that I NEED TO FIX. And that she is Not my GIRLFRIEND but she calls me 3 to8 times a day plus she comes to my house at night. As she says we are just friends But to me the actions say more. How do I get rid of her without hurting her feelings even though she has hurt mine many time. need some help, Thanks

By: Dr. Dorothy

Dr. Dorothy — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:02:39 +0000

Tedy,

I see your point. But on the plus side you write quite well and you have kept your sense of balance even if it is a little strained. You know what to do. You want to walk away. You also want it to be easy–it won’t be easy or fast.

Let me suggest that you seek out a therapist (someone recommended by your physician). You need someone in your corner while you decide what you must do to take care of yourself. Don’t lose sight of your goal–to acheive freedom. Again, it won’t be easy, but it will happen. I promise. Good luck.

By: tedy

tedy — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:03:19 +0000

I just turned 18 and iam stuck in this whole of lies, but the unfair thing is that this trench of lies is not my doing. Dear god. SPOT ON, even the picture resembles my so called “friend” which impulsively lies and always makes herself the center of attention. Shes incredibly dependent on friends and when she gets in a relationship she wont stop talking about it and how hurt she is. she cant handle the slightest heartache. she makes lies and pretends that shes on the same level as you are, in fact, you say something and she comes up with this lie about how she had the same experience but tries to undermine yours, being the greater one. i really dont get her and cant believe it took me this long to catch on to her lies. i blame it on my gullibleness and trust in people that they will be true in return for my honesty. shes grown so much on me that im scared for both her and my well-being. if i stop talking to her, she becomes severely depressed and goes into her own world of self pity. one time, we had a sleep over and were drinking and one thing after another i said something which saddened me and out of the blue she turned it into her own and got to the point to where she cut herself and i had to baby sit her all fucking night(excuse my language, but this really frustrated me that she can be soooo self absorbed). at first she seemed like a total ideal friend, like something out of a tv series, best bud best bud deal. and found that we had SOOO much in common; i liked gossip girl, OH, but she adored gossip girl(the tv series), i hated biology class, SHE DREADED IT. like i said, i thought we had soo much in common but as the days go by i begin to realize how much of a lying, impulsive, self centered, manipulative freind she is. i mean, i had to find out what kind parents she had and that they truly try to make her the best, happiest daughter in the world, well, this isnt the way she described them. she made her life seem sooo horrible but just to make her the center of attention. Weve enrolled in a few clases together for our first semester of college in the fall and cant help myself but to think how much of a bad decision that was. Im gay and she insist on holding hands and giving me a peck(kiss) infront of people, as if she craves attention! Its making me dislike her more and more and she just doesn’t get it, I DON’T LIKE GIRLS. Ive tried calling her out( hinting) on it and turns it into how she lives such a miserable life. In fact she lives a wonderful life! When im around her I never even get to give my opinions or have a say in anything really, shes always talking and makes up the most ridiculous lies trying to impress her audiences. I rmeber back when she began to show her true clors she brought up this old friend and how abusive she was, how she was sooooo mean to her…but now I completely understand her friend, she just couldn’t handle it anymore and decided to call her out on her lies, simply just stating the cold hard facts( which she just couldn handle). This is probably why she fled her(my “friend”) boarding school where she shared a dorm with her friend. And dropped out of the sky into my life, little did I know that this was the reincarnation of the lying evil angel Gabriela herself. Im supposed to hang out with her tomorrow, but I just don’t know how much more I can handle from her. Shes turned me into an alcoholic and smoker, you know what they say “misery loves company”, I feel like shes dragging me back down to hell w/ her where I am convinced she derived from. HELP me, im going insane. :,(

By: Mohit Manuja

Mohit Manuja — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 20:37:08 +0000

Yes as clearly pointed out, they start with a bang, the early phase is pretty entertaining…you feel flirted with ..one feels important…and the exit ” sudden”. Almost like the rug pulled under your feet. Yes I did meet one such female. Extremely seductive and flirtatious. But I am not sure words like “predator” or “insensitive ” should be used for them. Yes they cause a lot of emotional damage , im not sure till date if she did it on purpose. I would like to add something…the way they use words is very dramatic..in fact they are wizards of communication I felt. Blowing up any situation was her habit. I could never feel connected and hence as pointed out . They carry hollow emotions

By: Guest

Guest — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:22:49 +0000

finally someone who understands, great blog, ill be passing my friends the link, keep up the god work

By: Michelle Nicodemus

Michelle Nicodemus — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 02:29:24 +0000

I have been involved with a male histrionic/narcissist with huge dependency issues since 2006. It’s been a stormy relationship – issues of deceit, dishonesty, immaturity, self centertedness, infidelity, substance abuse ( alcohol), and lack of empathy. It’s been a roller coaster ride – they are the “ultimate drama queens” and create quite a bit of it. Everything is magnified l,000 times in the way of THEIR problems -THEIR issues – and is always about them. They will never support you and cannot offer much in the way of a relationship. They make great dates/boyfriends but as significant others – they fall short. It’s like teaching a pig to sing. They cannot sing – no matter how hard you try to teach them. It takes a very self confident, strong, person to cope with a histrionic – Lies are abundant and difficult, if not impossible – to know when they are being truthful. You can get an answer to a question – and five minutes later – you will get another answer – or you will get denial ( never said that) – or the entire story can be rewritten in the blink of an eyelash. They are the most “alive” people – they are exciting – enthusiastic – and shallow. Life is always an adventure…. but if you want a person to have an indepth discussion about your future together – life plans – someone to hold your hand in crisis…. THIS is so not the person for you. They are children trapped in an old person’s body for eternity. They never grow up. Emotionally stunted at age 6 due to trauma ( abuse or neglect – or overindulgence) they see the World thru eyes of a child. Very demanding. Needing constant attention from anyone or anything. They will abandon relationships of 10 yrs for a moment with a new “source” who pays attention to them. They are extremely impulsive people, handle money poorly, jump from woman to woman since they can’t stand to be alone -and live a life of emptiness with the only goal being to “WIN”. Whatever it is – money, attention, love, sex,
from anyone who crosses their path. They are true predators and suck the life – all your emotion – right from under you leaving you feeling drained, exhausted, and wondering what happened. The only way to make sense of that that doesn’t make sense – the histrionic – is to realize… it is a mental disorder. Their behavior – their brains are disordered. Not wired like you and me. Disjointed – with great difficulty in remembering things/details due to their tendency to repress what is unpleasant – blocking out a great deal of their past. They use projection quite a bit – accusing you of what they are guilty of doing…… and are NEVER to blame. It’s always the other guy’s fault…. If you can? Run away…… Do not get involved – they will hurt you and never look back….. They will discard you like an old newspaper forgetting all the love/devotion you offered and barely remember your name. Your replacement will arrive as soon as the next day. Look at their eyes. It’s all in the eyes. Intense like a predatory animal…. and blank…. their souls are empty.