Personality Blog

Emotions are, according to Cognitive Theory, created by our thoughts. If you want to control your emotions, become aware of the thoughts that create (within the context of your environment) your feelings. Listen to what you are thinking. Write down your thoughts and check them for accuracy and rationality. If they are not accurate and/or rational, change them to fit reality. We have 50,000 thoughts a day (give or take one or two), how many of them did you really hear today?

Face reality and remind yourself that you can handle whatever life throws at you. Evaluate your options and choose the ones that are most likely to make your life and relationships healthier.

Work on connecting with friends and family. Perhaps, you would benefit from sharing your concerns with people you feel are safe. Ask friends for their input - they may offer useful suggestions. The worse that can happen is you have allowed someone the opportunity to connect with you and you have been heard. Quite often, we don’t need someone to solve our problems we just need a sympathetic ear. Also, stretch out your hand to a friend who is faltering. You might be surprised at how good it feels when we help others. A pat on the back is a priceless gift, share it often.

We have control over many situations in our lives - certainly not all. It is imperative that we understand the difference. Fortunately, we have absolute control over our behaviors. Now that is power.

Take our free Emotional Maturity Test and read Understanding Emotional Maturity article.